![]() Having lost his mate, the male dugong had become a danger to men swimming in the bay. One of the most beautiful but also disturbing parts of the books is where Kneen goes swimming in Vanuatu and captures the attention of a dugong. Their book does more than just share experiences, it leads the reader through a life: the good, the bad, the complex and the profoundly beautiful. Sometimes the reader is pulled right in close to Kneen’s feelings in these sections – and the affect is powerful. Direct essays, where Kneen unpacks an aspect of their life or an experience, are often followed by more “creative” chapters where the writing is more experimental. But Kneen writes using a mix of forms and structures. The books I’ve found in the body of fat writing use data and research, coupled with some anecdotes, to break down internal and external fatphobia. Anthony Mullins/Fat Girl Dancing, Author provided Kris Kneen’s self-portraits attempt to break down fatphobia. I’ve found motivation and understanding in books like What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon, The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor and The F-ck It Diet by Caroline Dooner. I’ve been working hard at unpacking my own relationship with my body. And in this memoir, Kneen invites readers into their life and feelings in a way that’s deeply intimate – a way that somehow feels even more intimate than their earlier writing about sex and desire.Ī big fat fight: the case for fat activism I operate in a more privileged subject-positioning: while I face some of the discriminations all fat folks face, I can never understand the full extent of what other, fatter people face. This means I can shop off the rack in many stores, can fit into shoes and chairs, and face less daily scrutiny than many fat folks. There are also intersections within the fat community, which means that while I consider myself a fat person, I am a straight-sized fat or “a small fat”. ![]() We fantasise about the thin people shown to us in the media: we have, as Kneen says, become “a part of this system that hates fat women”. ![]() Society’s anti-fat bias is so pervading, fat people are taught to hate themselves and crave smaller bodies. Thin bodies are held up as the ideal: they are the bodies of social media, movies – and as Kneen (who has written erotic memoirs, fiction and poetry) explores, porn and erotic stories. It hurt, and because it was a machine that repeated the reading on a regular basis it continued to hurt again and again and again. I told them it hurt but they just nodded and said it was supposed to be a little uncomfortable. I could tell, but they didn’t seem to notice. Kneen explores these experiences in her book: And when they do, tables and blood pressure cuffs and testing machinery are not built with every body in mind. It can be extremely difficult for fat people to access health care where their weight doesn’t become the only thing that doctors focus on. There’s scrutiny over groceries, eating in public, working out, not working out, being visible. ![]() Fat people face myriad challenges in their day-to-day life, from the well-documented discrimination on airline travel and public transport, to the size bias from clothing manufacturers. The world is completely biased against fat bodies. Kris Kneen writes about their complex relationship with their body in Fat Girl Dancing. If I’m alone, if there is no one else in the pool to judge me, maybe then I can feel okay about my body.įeeling okay about your body as a fat person is difficult and complicated. It is as if the weight I am carrying has been cancelled by the lift of the water. Sometimes when I am swimming, I feel safe. In Kris Kneen’s latest memoir Fat Girl Dancing, they describe a similar freedom in the water and the aloneness they find there: Review: Fat Girl Dancing – Kris Kneen (Text Publishing) ![]() As my breasts grew, hips widened, belly expanded, it got harder and harder to find my freedom in water, unless I was alone. To get in the water, to swim, was to strip down to a bathing suit and gave me nowhere to hide. I’ve swum for most of my life, finding joy in the quiet of the water and the way I can move my body without straining my joints or passing out from trying to exercise in the heat.īut my relationship with the water changed as my body did. I remember throwing my body around with abandon, revelling in the joy of handstand competitions and long games of mermaids or lifeguards with my sister and cousins. When I was a child, the water was a place of freedom. ![]()
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